Training materials today

I picked up my training materials for my new job today! It's a little overwhelming having a lot of studying to do to make sure that I pass my certification tests, I'm not going to lie I'm very nervous. Because I have to pay for my testing I really need to make sure that I pass. I know I can do it as long as I spend the next 18 days studying, it's a lot of anatomy and terminology to learn along with the customized exercise routines. I started following my instructional DVD today and was able to do it all while my tired now, I have been spending the last few days working on getting back into having stamina. However if I didn't have the background in dance, Pilates, and martial arts to start with this would be so killer as it is I can feel that I have not been in that kind of shape, but I know that as long as I keep at it for the next two weeks by the time I get in to my weeklong intensive training I'll be good to go. I have to be I feel so much pressure with this to prove that I can, I don't want to put out money and then fail, I don't want my husband my mom my new in-laws to see me as a failure or for me to see myself that way so it's not even an option. In many way I already feel like a failure, I know that none of them none of my loved ones see me as that way but I need this to prove to myself that I'm not.