Finding a routine

I have had a hard time finding a good routine, and with out one I am starting to feel a little lost in my life. Now that Grace is a toddler I am finding it hard to get up and do things, I get up with her easily in the morning but I just am not doing anything becuase I am so tired I end up going back to sleep a few hours later and have her dad get up with her so I can sleep a little bit more before he goes to work. But by doing this Ido get going with my day till it's almost afternoon. Now that I'm back in school it's even harder to find the right routine, that's why I haven't put up a blog of video in so long. This just isn't working the way it is! I think the only thing that I can do is make my self stay up and deal with a few days of being very tired to make myself get in to a routine.
I know what I need to have in my daily routine, I just don't know how to make myself do it! It's something I need to do because I want her to see a good routine from me in life and that's not what I have been showing her, sadly what I have been showing her is someone that is just kind off get by each day, someone that lives in sweats, they are clean but still I have been doing the bear  minimum as far as putting myself together each day. It's not that I think I need to do make up everyday even when I was working I didn't wear makeup everyday but I was always pulled together.
I have never been one fore New Years  resolution  But this year getting a routine is my resolution, but I'm not waiting till the New Year I'm staring tomorrow! Because the way I have been isn't making me happy at all and I want to be happy! So I'm making a change!

It seams that there's never a minute to just be in life. Even now my mind is going with list of things that I need to do. I feel that the never end things to do is something we have done to our selfs in life. Sadly most of it doesn't do anything to add to our happiest in this life, so why do we do it? Does it matter if we let the toys say is a mess and enjoy a minute of down time no it doesn't so why do I feel the need to clean up before I have a minute to myself. Because we have become the idea of things being right or looking right is so  ingrained in us.
  Maybe this is why even with everything going on a young toddler that is just starting to potty train ( it's going well) trying to get the shop going and adding new things every few days. I'm getting ready to go back to school and finish. After all the running of my home, taking care of my husband and child, helping to grow a church. At the same time trying to get a business going is all part of being a home maker, I want to say that it's that it's part of being a home maker in this day and age but it's not new. My grandmother was a homemaker, who did most of the same things I do. It's just the way of life as a women in this world, I truly believe that. There is a saying that goes ( a man may work from sun to sun bit a women's work is never done) I never truly knew how that was till I become a wife and mother. As a new wife I worked full time and run our home, as well as taking classes and doing some things to my shop, and now as a mother I am doing something from the time I get up to the time I go to sleep at night.
  But I wouldn't change it, there is something  that I find very satisfying taking care of my family, it's funny I never thought this would be my life but now that it is I do enjoy it. As crazy and busy oh yes and  stressful it can be. Right now the big stressful thing is finding the best way to pay for school, well that and potty training my 15 month old. At times it's going well and at others it's harder but it's all coming together.

The royal wedding

It's interesting to me and I am up waiting to watch the wedding of  Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. I am honking about how I was up by myself late at night when the news of this mother  Princess Diana's death broke, how I stayed up all night long watching videos watching the service and cried my eyes out. Being the same age as Prince Harry I remember watching him support and a lot of young girls at that time I grow up idolizing his mother. More of an off her of all the things that she did, she was the type of woman that I really want to be she was changing the world and for the better.
 More of an off her of all the things that she did, she was the type of woman that I really want to be she was changing the world and for the better.  As crazy as it sounds I have followed her sons the ups  and downs a if they are a favorite character in a book and it's just so wonderful to see them and the young  Man they have become however being that we are the same age  they are grown men working change to change the world and he's chosen someone to happen him in that task that they will continue in the same kind of work that his mother did. And I am a static that she will be the kind of role model for my daughter that his mother was for me.

Now to move on from sad thoughts I'm so happy to see this I even pulled out my tiara from my wedding to wear it as I watch. I don't care that I'm in my very mom pjs with this great tiara on. After all a tiara is never to much!



Also watching the news coverage and listening to them discussed how monumental it is that she will be walking her self partway down the aisle and that she will be seen she gives herself to him, it's fascinating that at this time in 2018 it's still considered an usual. I gave myself away, I didn't do it as a   Feminist statement, or a statement of any kind really. But more for the thought it's up to me to say I come to marry it's my life I belong to no one so its up to me. This did upset the men in my family but that was thier isusse

Earth Day! #onesmallthing #earthday

Happy Earth Day!
 Now what should that mean? That we celebrate this place earth we live on right. Well sadly it's a day that we all say ok I'm going to do something that earth  responsible, such as pick up trash today or try and read deuce this or am going to use the screen product. Really we should do these things every day we should use reusable products pick up trash because we live on this earth and this is the only earth we have this is our home we should care enough about it  to treat it as if it matters.
   We should be looking for alternative options to the devastation that are oil and if she reeks on earth that the natural gas industry weeks out by Frankie, reusable biodegradable plastics eco-friendly housing all these things or things we should do everyday! So that our childern and thier childern have something  I decent earth. What keeps running through my head is the Cat Steven's song "where to the children play" if you don't know this don't you can I'm sure find it on YouTube but it short it talks about that having all things is great but what does it mean for the childern?

  However if you are looking for something you can do today that's great but don't let it stop at today! Pick one thing something small and keep at it for a month then two and keep going. It may seams small and that it's not going to do anything but if we all do something small it becomes something big that can make a change!
   #onesmallthing

Supermarket games #freestuff

I love doing the games that the supermarket dose. I know a lot of people fine that to be to much work and pointless but I do find that at all.
The reasons why I do them are  simple.
- it's free
-I get stuff (for free!)
-I am shopping anyway
Yes I play every game that they do, right now the store ( Albertson's ) is doing the  Monopoly game, and yes it takes a little time to open the pieces but no more so then if I was going to cut out coupons would take. With the pieces you get a few  different kinds of prices, you may get a percentage or dollar amount coupon off or a completely free item; along with the pieces of the monopoly game to play on the board and try to win other prices.
 I found that it's a great way to add some things into my drive pantry because I get them for free, my husband is constantly laughing at me because it doesn't matter that I have received about 20 free gravy mix packets I'm still getting every free gravy mix that I receive the coupon for and adding it to my pantry it's something that doesn't go bad and that you're going to use throughout the year, so Not pick it up for free?  The same thing with the tomato sauce I  have completely stock these items in my pantry along with every every day  items such as free flour,  not to mention being able to stock somethings my medicine cabinets like aspirin and ibuprofen that have been free as well. Then there's the free pastries which are just a nice little adding things I wouldn't normally pick up but if it's free yeah I'll pick up a pastry to have at night with my cup of tea. Then there's the actual prices with the monopoly pieces and at this point I have won $5 dollars cash and $5 dollars grocery coupon. Now I know to a lot of people that doesn't seam like much, but as a  stay at home mom saving any amount of money can be a great help, it allows me to do other things around my house as well as other things with my daughter and my husband. When you add up the cost of the pantry items it really does add up to big savings there have been times using the coupons I receive and getting the free item  that I have saved close to as much as I've spent at the grocery store which is amazing and I'm not talking $5 or $10 but $45 and up.
 No that's this particular game that they're doing at this time they also do once at different times of the year were you collect stamps and you receive the free merchandise such as knives or pans with them and I've done that as well and it's great it's a nice way to add in things that I may not order I just purchased even though it might be something I would like, but  by collecting the stamps or receive for the shopping I'm doing anyway I have been able to get some things such as knives and convection pans it's a nice little thing for for you to do.
 I know that for myself as my daughter gets older I will be incorporating her helping into using these coupons an opening them and making it something that she can learn from as well.  You can teach a lot to your children about money management and nutrition by encouraging them to shop with you and do things or like having find what's on the coupon compare it to it not being on sale and they can learn as well as it helps teach him how to save. It also gives them a sense of ownership over the family diet and in the home.
    So I say play the games get the stuff  #freestuff


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First birthday!

It's hard at times for me to believe that it's been a year, but then at other times it feels like it's been so much longer. My little Grace has grown and grown. I looked at her the other day and she is no longer in that baby stage she is in young toddlerhood and I don't know just who it happen becuase it happen all at once it seems like. I love seeing her change and grow, she is about to start walking and I know she will be talking soon, and as much as I'm  anxiously await those big  milestones, I still want her to be in baby stage I am missing it. However I am not missing it so much that I would want other kid, I am very happy with us being one and done, but I am still missing that stage, but loving seeing the little person she is becoming.
For her first birthday I know a lot of people go crazy with a partly but I didn't want to do that for a few reasons. First I'm tired and the idea of planing something just wasn't how I wanted to spend my time.  Secondly I'm not a fan of over the top party's, I don't think it's something that you need to do. After all  she is one. So Michaels parents come in to town for her birthday, it's a big deal for them with her being thier only grandchild. So we just had a family partly them my mother and us. She  plead  with her little cake, it took her sometime to even want to try and eat it. It was fun watching her eating it well mostly playing with it. I do feel that she wa given to much stuff for a kid that's turning one, but his parents can't seam to help but go over borad with her. We  plead games and just enjoyed the family time, something that I think we all need to do more of.

This year feels as if it has gone by so so fast.

Aother year older

It's funny that when we are children we look forward to our birthday all year long. We start the count down at the start of the month and are so happy when that day comes. But then at some point I don't even know what age it is that we start to just think of it as a day and that's great, the feeling of ya that's my birthday today, it just stops being so much of a big deal. Today well yesterday now was my birthday and this year much like the year before I just feel that it doesn't matter. It may be that not that I am a mother I care less about my birthday and I am much more in to her day it happens to be 5 days after mine, or it could be that now that I am in my 30's its just not that big of a deal.
 It's not even that I am so in to hers because I am so in to planning anything crazy for her, because I am not. I don't think that kids birthdays need to be as over the top as so many people do. I think that that's because growing up my family didn't do over the top, a family party some years a small party of 3-5 friends and then as we got older if was pick a friend and a place to go to dinner and that's still what I enjoy doing, going out to dinner. Now a days I enjoy a dinner out because I am with my little one all day and at times I am just tired and its nice to not have to cook. We are lucky this wee know that she is well behaved and does well eating out for a one year old, no big brake downs and as she gets older she is getting better and better. That could be because now she can start to eat the same things we eat makes it a lot easier. But back to the birthday  I don't feel any older then I did a week ago, but then I don't feel any older then I did 5 years ago. Well in my mind anyway this last year my body at times feels much older, I have always felt older /old in my body because it hurts so much of the time. So even as I get older my body feels much like it always has so I don't feel older year to year.

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Being a mom is hard!

I think that it goes with out saying but that  parenting is in no way easy, no matter how well prepared you feel you are it's harder then you think it will be! It's hard on all parts of your life this is what I wasn't prepared for was just how hard it would be on my marriage. Things that never bothered me before that my husband does just pisses me off now, it's the crazy little things that will ended up with us mad at each other. The big things is our little one is teething she now has three teeth and one on its way, so she is having a lot of nights where she isn't sleeping and having some hard days as well. Now as a stay at home mom, I'm with her all the time so it does get to me more. Now my husband is able to sleep thur her getting up or able to just fall back asleep, really now... I'm sure you other mothers just understand how this is crazy and would bug you. Here's the thing it's not like I want him to get up there's really know reason to nothing he can do even if he were to get up I would still be up, I'm not a mom that can sleep as my baby cries, but still this makes me crazy. Because it does I get upset with him over really dumb shit, that has no meaning, I know it's not far and I'm sure it's the little to no sleep. That mixed with the feeling that I'm doing everything, as a stay at home mom I'm now only with with the baby all day and somedays that's a long day not just in feeling but in hours do to, that there are days when his gone from the house for up to 12 hours. But still I know that it's me that needs to lean how to let this shit go. His great with her changes diapers feeds her plays with her reads to her and loves her more then anything. So this little shit it just at little shit but still I let it bother me to the point that we fight over it. It's the only thing we have ever had fights about and that's hard on our marriage.

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